


Not Even the Best-Laid Plan to Start With

by Not_You



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, the avengers take care of their own, villainous incompetence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 10:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a kinkmeme prompt.</p><p>An incompetent villain tries to de-age the team, not realizing that half of it is much older than it looks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Even the Best-Laid Plan to Start With

"You have stepped into my trap!" He shrieks, and throws a switch somewhere up in the darkness of his warehouse lair. They're suddenly bathed in light, and Clint's swearing gets higher and higher pitched until it's the sweet lisp of a tiny child. Tony's does the same, but it doesn't reach as high a pitch, and is tinnier as he shrinks down inside his armor. Bruce wobbles, clutching his head. It all happens in an instant, and then the light is fading. Thor, Steve and Natasha are still standing, while Bruce is grimacing like he's got a migraine. Tony's armor is opening up to let a terrified ten-year-old scramble out, and Clint is now an adorable toddler, looking about two years old and completely infuriated as he stands in a heap of his clothes and gear. The expression is adorable on his chubby little face, and he waves fists that are almost perfectly round, making angry noises.

"Bruce, are you okay?"

"I... fuck, I feel like I'm--" he cuts himself off with a scream that turns into the Hulk's roar. A very small version of the Hulk's roar.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day," Tony says, whistling in amazement. Even Clint pauses in his furious two-year-old rage to stare at the enormous green toddler.

"Indeed, Captain."

"What?!" Their opponent shrieks from the rafters, "But the ray!"

Steve hurls his shield, knocking him from his perch and catching it again without looking. Thor catches the scientist before he breaks his neck, and idly drapes him over one shoulder. "Things do not always work as planned, my friend." 

Natasha sweeps the place for reinforcements and joins them again in a few minutes. "We're clear."

Clint raises his chubby little arms, sniffling. "Up." Natasha stares down at him as if she has never seen a child before and is uncertain whether or not she should eat it. "Up!" Clint repeats, more upset than ever. Natasha finally smiles, a sweet, soft one that they haven't seen before, and scoops Clint up, settling him on one hip and wrapping him in his shirt. He clings with one hand and crams the other thumb into his mouth, looking around with big blue eyes that see everything. Steve gathers Clint's gear and Tony coaxes the baby Hulk to stop hammering on the floor and take his hand.

"You realize that if this is not temporary, skalds will tell of your suffering for generations to come, do you not?" Thor asks, and their foe just gibbers.

"B-but it takes off thirty-six years!"

Natasha just rolls her eyes, bouncing Clint slightly. Steve calls SHIELD for transport back, and the whole time they're studying the ray and realizing that it'll wear off in a few hours, its inventor is muttering to himself and doing bad mental math.

Tony stamps his foot in exasperation. "Bro, do you even science?!"

Natasha chuckles, and gives Clint a Luna bar to chew on. Steve grimaces. "I tried those. They're like wax."

"Tasty lemon-flavored wax, though."

Clint seems to agree, and stays perfectly calm as long as he stays near Natasha and stays fed. Tony leans on Pepper and devours a gigantic turkey sandwich, talking a mile a minute about their adventures and how weird it is to be this young again. Little Hulk turns back to Bruce at last, but his eyes are huge and childlike, and he ends up cuddling up to Steve and letting him take care of things for a while. Steve is patient with him, and cuts Bruce's sandwich into small pieces for him and ruffles his curls.

They're all tired from the waves of robots they had had to battle their way through (terrible robots, but way too many of them), and most of them end up falling asleep where they are. Natasha snores almost inaudibly with Clint fast asleep on her chest, and Steve gets Bruce stretched out on the couch and tucked in. Tony is of course wired, and Pepper accompanies him to his lab to serve as his responsible adult helper. He remembers everything, but is currently as impulsive as a real kid. Given Tony's normal conduct, it's best to be safe.

That seen to, Steve gets his sketchbook, wanting to record everyone before they change back.


End file.
